Erm? Really?

This seems to have completely slipped by my radar, but apparently Claudia Winkelman has been announced as the new presenter for Film 2010. Kooky old Claudia? Really?
I know this hasn't got much to do with BHFs (although one assumes that whoever gets the job will be reviewing the occasional one), but thought I'd mention it. After all, anyone who can annoy Mark Kermode by getting the job has to go up in anyone's estimation, right?
And here's a picture of me with Claudia herself...

I'm the one with the bangs and the black suit jacket on, she's the lanky get in the middle. The bloke in the too-tight strides is one Shaun Hutson, you may have heard of him...

Vampyres - now officially a blue movie

See what I did there? You see, Vampyres is coming out on Blue-Ray (region one only, apparently... boo), and... oh well, please yourselves.

There's a running joke where I work that I spend my evenings watching vampire lesbian films, which whilst not exactly untrue, isn't exactly true either. Although I would like someone to explain why female vampires are, in nine out of ten cases, lesbians. I have yet to see Lesbian Vampire Killers, mainly because of an aversion to anything James Corden has had his greasy mitts on (Gavin and Stacey excepted, although if ever there was a programme with diminishing returns, it was that one), and by all accounts it is absolute crap. Vampyres, on the other hand, is NOT crap, although it is incredibly saucy. Made in 1974 by Euro-sleaze cheeky chappie Jose Larraz, it basically acts as a blueprint for the antics of every young goth girl who's ever wandered around a foggy graveyard in a big coat (which happens a lot) and then entices sweaty old blokes back to their castle to slice 'em up and drink their blood (which hopefully doesn't). I haven't got round to reviewing it yet, because although I've seen it a dozen times I never seem to have a hand free to make any notes (ahem).
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, I'm sure being on blue-ray (blueray? blue ray? whatever) will add a HUGE amount to your viewing pleasure, it being made in 1974 and all that. Perhaps it's important you see all that dry humping in excessive detail. Perhaps it will reveal starlets Anulke and Marianne Morris to be a right pair of mingers (although I doubt it). Who knows?
It is a great film, though... saucy, scary and beautifully shot. Go grab a classic big-boobs-and-hairy-pie gorefest.

Danny Dyer gets devilish on the swings (and cocks about on the witches hat, no doubt)

Fangoria's web blog thingy is reporting that a promo for the Devil's Playground, a new film featuring Brit horror alumnuses Danny "you've got to love him, Chris does" Dyer and (yay) Craig "Beyond Bedlam, Darklands" Fairbrass has been leaked onto the net.
The film's producer is none other than Jonathan Sothcott, who used to post on the Brit horror forum on my very own site until he got scared off by some horrid bullies. Jonathan tells Fangoria: "“This market weel leaking out has been incwedibly iwwitating. The Internet has nine million people who love kicking everything new, and they’ve just been given unnecessawy ammunition."
Does that mean it's shit? It sounds like he means it's shit. Hopefully it's not shit. If only because it's about time Dyer got a Bafta for "services to playing a cheerful dope with a drug problem in a British film".

Aanyway, I thought it would be funny to post the clip on the blog, but couldn't find it. So here's the promo from recent Dyer / Noel Clarke / some bird called Emily Booth laugh-and-shit-your-pants-fest Doghouse:

Chris Lee sued

Guess who's got a Christopher Lee Google alert set up? Aaanyway, enough trade secrets...
Miserable old not-appearing-in-this-Hobbit-film all round legend Christopher Lee is in the news AGAIN, after losing out to an artist who claimed royalties for a DVD cover.

For those who don't know, a few years ago, Lee stopped banging on about how The Wicker Man was his favourite film-that-he-was-in and started giving it verbal about the apparently quite boring historical epic Jinnah. It's a good job he did, cos no-one else has even seen it.

Don't get me wrong, I love Mr Lee and all his work, apart from everything he's doing now, but that's not his fault and more the fault of all the absolute DICKS who are making films these days. But I have to say - £640,000 for one picture? Get in, mate.

Here's the details:

The Lord of the Rings star, 87, and his associates must pay £640,000 to artist Gerardo Moreno for work he did on a DVD cover, a Spanish court ruled.
Mr Moreno claims he was not properly paid for the art work on the DVD of Jinnah, a 1998 movie starring Lee about the life of the founding father of Pakistan, Muhammed Ali Jinnah.

And here's where I nicked this story from:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/7498728/Sir-Christopher-Lee-loses-640000-royalty-battle.html

Corror movie?

The Salford Star reports that the young 'uns in Coronation Street will be settling down to watch a home-grown horror films this week. Don't watch Correr any more to be honest, but this does sound interesting for any fans of Brit horror (are there any? No bugger ever seems to post replies on this blog... sniff).

Splintered has been made by Salford based production company Not A Number, and is featured on this Friday.

Characters, Sian, Sophie, Ryan and Lee are shown watching the scary movie on DVD and discussing its details as the tension cranks up in the room (I have no idea why this is happening, sorry).

Here's some details of the film itself:

"I'm really chuffed Splintered plays a key role in Friday's episode of Coronation Street" says director Simeon Halligan "And what's ironic is that the background to the story in Splintered is very much about coming to terms with your own sexuality. This nicely echoes Corrie's Sophie Webster as she begins to realise her own sexual identity.

"It's also interesting that the lead character in Splintered is also called Sophie - and of course, having worked at Granada TV for many years myself and actually on Corrie itself back in the nineties - it seems fitting Splintered gets a nod on The Street before its UK release in July."

Top Trumps... look familiar?

Somehow, I'd blocked out that I ever owned these, but my mum (bless her) turned up at our house the other day with a battered plastic box and asked if I wanted them. No idea if they're worth any money, or even where they came from... they seem vaguely familiar so they are definitely mine. I think they were probably bought in that peculiar time when you're starting to have a bit more money and you buy stuff you were perfectly entitled to like a year or so ago but now seems a bit childish, but you buy it anyway and then put it in a drawer and forget about it. For girls this is about 8 years old, for boys, more like about 14! (when I foolishly gave away all my Action Men and Star Wars toys).
The reason why I'm bringing them to the attention of the blog is that these hastily-scribbled illustrations (even more hasty and ill-conceived than my own) have obviously been copied ad hoc from posters and photos from real films, then "adapted" to avoid paying copyright. These are the ones with a Brit horror connection (apart from the last couple) - can you spot 'em?

Hammer "re-imaginings" on the cards...

The website Bloody Disgusting is busy telling everyone that Hammer films are:

1. Already successful (hmmm)

And 2. Thinking about "re-imagining" some old Hammer classics, namely Quatermass, Captain Kronos and Doctor Jekyll and Sister Hyde.

Before everyone gets on their high horses about the word "re-imagining" (is it a word?), I ought to point out that throughout Hammer's golden age from 1957 to the mid 70s, they were constantly "re-imagining" everything they could get their paws on, before it was even a word (if it is a word) - Frankenstein, Dracula, The Mummy, Phantom Of The Opera, etc etc. And I for one would love to see a new version of Captain Kronos, but I have to say that they probably need to sack everyone responsible for Beyond The Rave before they start...

Anyhoo, the link to their interview with Hammer CEO Simon Oakes is below...

BD Horror News - Three Hammer Horror FIlms Getting Remade, Errr Modern Retelling