Four Lions

I know I bust the definition of what could be classified as "horror" sometimes, and, well, I'm going to do it again. Because, well, let's face it, "Four Lions" is going to be a work of genius, isn't it? The creation of Chris Morris, the man who brought us The Day Today, Brass Eye and the vaguely horrific Jam, a comedy film about jihadist terrorists. It's going to be fab, and here's a clip. Or a trailer.
It is British, by the way...

Valhalla Rising - sneak peak

Blimey. For anyone who ever wanted to watch Scottish men beating the shit out of each other but didn't fancy hanging around outside a Glasgae chipshop on a Freedee Neet, here's Valhalla Rising, which will let you do it in the comfort of a nice chair in a dark room... to say this trailer is brutal would be an understatement by some degree. You have been warned...

Here's a synopsis:

For years, One-Eye, a mute warrior of supernatural strenght, has been held prisoner by the chieftain Barde. Aided by a boy, Are, he kills his captor and together they escape, beginning a journey into the heart of darkness. On their flight, One-Eye and Are board a Viking vessel but the ship is soon engulfed by an endless fog that first disintegrates as they sight an unknown land. As the new land reveals its secrets and the Vikings meet a ghastly fate, One-Eye discovers his true self.

Sorry, Neil

Seeing as I called Neil Marshall a slaphead the other day and didn't really give him the credit he deserves for making two cracking Brit horrors (I haven't actually SEEN Doomsday either, so it's a bit off of me to call it, although a friend of mine did say he didn't like it...), here's the synopsis of the soon-to-be-released latest filum from the man himself... once again, not horror, but may be borderline...

CENTURION - IN CINEMAS 23^rd APRIL 2010

FIGHT OR DIE.

Written and directed by Neil Marshall (THE DESCENT) CENTURION stars Michael Fassbender (INGLORIOUS BASTERDS, HUNGER), Dominic West (300, THE WIRE) and Olga Kurylenko (QUANTUM OF SOLACE, HITMAN).

A relentless, action-packed thriller in the tradition of APOCALYPTO, LAST OF THE MOHICANS and DELIVERANCE, CENTURION is set against a background of conquest and invasion and is the gripping story of a fight for survival…

AD 117. The Roman Empire stretches from Egypt to Spain, and East as far as the Black Sea. But in northern Britain, the relentless onslaught of conquest has ground to a halt in face of the guerrilla tactics of an elusive enemy: the savage and terrifying Picts.

Quintus Dias (Fassbender), sole survivor of a Pictish raid on a Roman frontier fort, marches north with General Virilus’ (West) legendary Ninth Legion, under orders to wipe the Picts from the face of the earth and destroy their leader Gorlacon.

But when the legion is ambushed on unfamiliar ground, and Virilus taken captive, Quintus faces a desperate struggle to keep his small platoon alive behind enemy lines.  Enduring the harsh terrain and evading their remorseless Pict pursuers led by revenge-hungry Pict Warrior Etain (Kurylenko), the band of soldiers race to rescue their General and to reach the safety of the Roman frontier.

CENTURION also features an exciting supporting cast including JJ Field (TELSTAR), Liam Cunningham (THE WIND THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY, HUNGER), Noel Clarke (ADULTHOOD), Riz Ahmed (SHIFTY), David Morrissey (NOWHERE BOY) Imogen Poots (28 WEEKS LATER) and Dimitri Leonidas (TORMENTED).

Produced by Academy Award® Winner Christian Colson (SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE) and Robert Jones, CENTURION reunites Marshall with his key collaborators from THE DESCENT: Production Designer Simon Bowles and Director of Photography Sam McCurdy. The film was shot on location in Aviemore, Scotland and Farnham in Surrey.

CENTURION is a Pathé Productions presentation, in association with the UK Film Council, of a Celador Films Production, of A Film by Neil Marshall. CENTURION will be released for Pathé Productions Ltd. by Warner Bros. Pictures UK on 23^rd April 2010.

Salvage

Ah Brookside. Never watched it myself, but I'm told it was great, what with all them lesbian kisses under the patio and stuff. Anyway, there's a new Brit horror film on the way this month called Salvage, and it was apparently filmed on the now-defunct set of the now-defunct soap. From the trailer it looks like a laugh a minute (much like the show itself) and also satisfyingly squelchy and gory. Check it out... it's playing in selected cinemas on the 19th and then coming out on DVD almost immediately on the 22nd (Disney eat your heart out, that's what I call a quick turnaround).